American Idol: Jacob…I mean One of Five Voted Off

It’s Thursday night, which means it’s time to see who got voted off of American Idol last night. I’ll get right into it.

I cast about 50 votes for Haley last night, in an effort to try to ensure that Jacob goes home tonight. I also voted for James. Let’s see what happens. We start out with a collage of judges’ comments last night. Haley really did have the best performance of the night last night, just like Randy said. I hope that America was listening. But I doubt they were.

What is that thing Jennifer Lopez is wearing? Is it a golden apple? It really looks ridiculous! 60,000,000 votes last night, highest of the season.

Well, well. Steven Tyler has written a book. That could be interesting. I might like to read that. Jennifer is going to sing on the stage tonight. As are Lady Antebellum.

Now for the group song. “Happy Together,” by The Turtles. Scotty’s holding the microphone in that silly way that he does. I love this song. It’s one of my favorite sixties songs, and my favorite by The Turtles. Sorry gang, but The Turtles were better. It wasn’t bad, though. The thing is, all five of these people have unique voices, therefore, they don’t blend very well together. It’s not really their fault.

And it’s the Ford video. Oho…so we have a Ford that parks itself, too, eh? We saw the Toyota that does that on the show that used to be “Bones,” but is now an hour long Toyota commercial.

What??? Oh, yeah!!! The top five went to Hell’s Kitchen!!! There’s Gordon Ramsay!!! They have ten minutes to make an omelet. He didn’t like Haley’s. He said, “As they say on American Idol, it’s a little pitchy,” and “pitched” it in the trash. Jacob brings his out and says he calls it “Omelet Gone Wild.” Gordon says, “It looks like a plate of vomit!” Ahahahahaaaa!!! He’s not pulling any punches for them, is he? He tasted it and said, “I know you’re a fan of gospel, but not even the Big Man can save you on this one.” James’s omelet is next. Gordon says it was hard as rock. Lauren’s is next. Gordon says it tastes quite nice and seasoned beautifully. Scotty’s is next. “What is that?” Gordon asks, and spits it in the trash. Lauren wins! Jacob gets second best and jumps up and down like a girl. That was cute.

Lady Antebellum is up next, singing, “Just A Kiss.” I liked their first single. This is the first time I have ever seen what they look like. I’m not sure why they’re called “Lady Antebellum.” There’s only one girl. And the guy gets to sing as much as she does. I like the song. The harmonies are very good. Is this country? I think it’s sort of country. But I like it. I can’t decide how to categorize it. Very good song. Their piano player looks like the manic depressive squint from “Bones.” Christi says he looks like Paul MacDonald. Hahah… Hey…I just realized, the girl looks a lot like Linda Ronstadt when she was younger. No wonder I like them so much.

Back from the commercials. Then the contestants talk about how they choose songs for each week. And how they choose their wardrobe. I would like to hear Lauren’s answer to that! Haha. And she says, “Wardrobe is a nightmare for me!” Yes it was, Lauren. Yes it was.

Uhoh…it’s time! Lights are dim! James stands up first. Jimmie gave him 8/10 for his performance last night. He starts a group on the far side of the stage. Lauren stands up next. Jimmie believe she will be in the bottom two tonight. He mentioned how she pulled back on the biggest note in “Unchained Melody.” Huh. That’s kind of what I said, isn’t it? Lauren starts a group on the near side of the stage. James looks terrified, dang it.

First we get to hear Jennifer Lopez “heat up the stage.” Aha. More Hell’s Kitchen first. A blind taste test. I love it when they do this! Hahaha…both of their reactions when he feeds them tofu is priceless!!!! Lauren gets it right, though! Lauren gets hot dog and wins the competition! I love Gordon Ramsay!!

Jennifer sings a song about dancing. Her pants don’t fit right. They look funny. She sings well, but this isn’t my type of music. Haha. Ryan poured the popcorn out on Steven’s head.

Now there’s a teaser for Jennifer’s next video.

Back to results. James on one side and Lauren on the other. Jacob stands up next. Jimmie says Jacob was 6/10 last night. Jacob joins Lauren on the near side of the stage. Haley is up next. Jimmie says Haley won the night and gets a 10. Yeah! I agree. And Haley joins James on the far side of the stage. I have a prediction before Scotty gets up. I say that James and Haley are safe and that Scotty will be with the other two. Let’s see. Scotty is standing up now. Jimmie says that Scotty gave his all and his performance was stellar. He didn’t give him a number. Ooh. I was wrong…Scotty is given the first “safe” of the night.

Oh, no!! I hate when Ryan does this. He’s going to try to get Scotty to pick which group of two is safe! I’m trying to remember who sat down in the middle a few years ago when Ryan pulled this. Robin, help me out, here!! Scotty can’t do it, so Ryan pushes him over to James and Haley. YES!!!!!! We’re one step away from making me VERY happy!!!!!!

Bottom two…Lauren and Jacob. I’m surprised that it’s Lauren, though. And she’s in tears.

We’re back from the commercials and here we go. Lights are dim. Who goes home?

Did you hear me cheer??? Did you hear me??? JACOB IS FINALLY GOING HOME!!!! He sure doesn’t lack confidence. “America fell in love with me,” he said. You know…he did do a really great job on “God Bless the Child” way back in Hollywood week. But that was the last time he sang really well. It was all downhill from there.

So the final four are James, Haley, Scotty and Lauren. Next week is going to be really, REALLY hard! I’m going to be sad every week after this. I still think Casey should still be there, and I still think Lauren is better than Scotty. But this final four deserves to be there.

That’s it for tonight.

TTFN, ya’ll!

Oh, and by the way…I typed the title of this entry before anything else. Just sayin’….


2 thoughts on “American Idol: Jacob…I mean One of Five Voted Off

  1. Jeff, Ryan has done this “choose which side” before more than once, but I’m afraid I don’t remember which seasons. I just think it is tacky. I do remember that last time, whoever he tried to make do it sat down in the middle of the stage and wouldn’t budge. Glad that Scotty refused to do it, too.

    I thought the Happy Together performance was worse than you thought. Jennifer’s pants were atrocious and I mentioned that in my wrap up too.

    And Jacob’s “America fell in love with me” comment? Well, humble he is not. And you and I just refuse to look at ourselves in the mirror. {{grin}}

  2. I caught only the last few seconds of it tonight and heard what I can only describe as screechy caterwauling…and now I know why you are so happy Jacob is leaving – and why you wanted him to – because that horrendous noise was emanating from his mouth.

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