American Idol: Two of 11 Voted Off

Tonight we get the fallout from last week’s save by the judges. We bid adieu to two contestants, instead of only one. Because why? Well, because if we didn’t do that, we would have to watch Idol for an extra week, that’s why!!

So here we go.

Oh, great. It said “You won’t believe who is going home.” Sigh. Wow. 55,000,000 votes. That seems like a lot.

Argh. I have to sit through yet another inane performance by “Will-i-am.” Along with Jamie Foxx. And the season 3 Idol winner, Fantasia. Wait. Wasn’t that a Disney movie? Whatever. Idol has succeeded in underwhelming me completely with their “special” guests this season.

Oh, this is different. Scotty and Lauren are singing a duet. “I Told You So.” Lauren is flat on the “soooo” both times. And it’s not really a duet. It’s two people singing a solo together. Oh! Wait! There was harmony on the last note. Other than that, it was a pretty good performance. Aha. So this is how it will be. They have to sing, then they get told whether or not they get to stay. Both Scotty and Lauren are safe. This does not surprise me, since they are both country flavored. And they are doing a pretty good job at what they do.

And now the Ford commercial. It’s “Kryptonite,” by Three Doors Down.

Next, Naima and Jacob are going to sing “Solid.” It’s a good thing we’re not voting on this one. I’m sorry, but this whole performance appears to be extremely amateurish. The dance moves weren’t together at all. But, in all fairness, they probably didn’t have a lot of time to practice these songs. And now it’s time for their “judgment.” One of them is in the bottom three. That person is…Naima. Jacob is safe. No surprise there.

Now we have to listen to Fantasia. Wait…I could fast forward. Gah!! She sounds like she breathed in some helium before she started singing. Ahahaha!!! This girl won?? And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Next, we get a trio from Haley, Thia, and Pia. They’re going to sing Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” Oh, good! We have the 16 year old singing “Let’s go all the way tonight.” Geez. Vocally, they are blending very well. It was a fine performance. Now, we have the judgment. Pia is declared safe right away. One of the others is in the bottom. Uhoh. This time, Haley’s not in the bottom three! Thia is, though.

Interesting, now. We have Casey, James, Paul, and Stefano left. Who will be paired with who? (I’m sure there should have been a “whom” in that sentence somewhere, but, fortunately, I’ve been out of school for…for…never mind.)

Next we get filler. He, Idol people! This could have been 30 minutes. Hey, look! Lauren fell on her butt coming down the stairs. Their kabillion dollar mansion LEAKS!!! BAHAHAHAHAA….. And still the filler continues. I’m going to play “Bejeweled” for a while.

Oh, all the guys that are left have formed a band together. I had forgotten about that! So now, they are going to perform “Band On the Run.” And look. Casey has a “Paul McCartney” bass! How cool. And it was a very nice performance. But now, comes the judgment. Casey is safe, right off the bat! Woot!!!! That is so cool! I’m glad they did it that way, too. James…he’s got to be safe. And he is! That leaves Paul and Stefano. My guess is that Stefano is in the bottom three. Oops. I was wrong.

So who is going home? Unfortunately, it’s NOT Will-i-am.

Well, it was interesting until either Jamie Foxx or that other guy started “singing” in a different key than the music. Then they both started “singing” but they were slower than the rhythm of the music. Rhythmically, they are so off, it’s atrocious. The lyrics consist of “I wanna party. I wanna samba.” Very deep and philosophical, that. And all the sheeple in the audience cheer madly. But what do they know? They cheer for anything.

And now it’s time for the “final judgment.” Naima, Paul, and Thia are left. I think Thia is safe. Christi thinks Paul will be safe. Is either one of us right? *Drum Roll* It’s Paul! Christi wins a billion dollars!! (After the day she’s had today, she certainly deserves it.)

Lauren’s crying about one of them. I’m glad that Naima is finally gone. I never thought she should be here. She was originally voted off in the first voting week, but was saved with a wild card. I’ll miss Thia, because I thought she was adorable.

Well, that’s it for tonight. We’ll be back next week for more.

TTFN y’all!

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